Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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