mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
