I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They took my balls.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
