New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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