So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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