last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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