so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
