You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Pappa wants mamma naked
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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