My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
