super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
jump out the window naked night went bad
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize