fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
