operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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