I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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