i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
