try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
