I need help removing her.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize