I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
