i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
