Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
