it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Houston, we have a blender
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
