i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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