im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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