I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
