I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When did angry sex become our thing?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
