Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
