Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
