Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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