Can i not drive my cunt home
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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