There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
