if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize