you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
