Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
