I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
