Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
