I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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