Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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