The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
