Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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