I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She bit a glass in half.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The air was thick with penises
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
