i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Who did Billy Mays play for?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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