The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize