so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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