Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
id be glad to
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
