Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
