I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How naked do you want me to be?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
