It was confusing and full of hummus
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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