It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
