we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
