Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
