brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
