i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
