Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You dont lie about slip and slides
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
