My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
