JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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