guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
