Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
